Theres no comfort in the waiting room. Just nervous faces.
Okay, listening to Death Cab for Cutie every night, on REPLAY, on each song does not help my sleep-deprived mind. My holiday is not going the way i wanted it to be. I mean, just in certain parts. But the more i think its not gonna be good, its gonna TURN good. Right? Yes, cause thats how my logic is. And it works that way.. Somehow :p
Kendo workshop ended yesterday but it still feels like i have to wake up every morning at 8 for training. I guess i just miss it. I miss seeing everyone and i miss getting muscle sores and leg pains. I really do. It gives me a sense of relief and feels like im doing something right in my life. So during the workshop, i always leave early cause i had to be somewhere. And everytime i step outside the dojo, i have this heavy feeling in my heart. Like i wasnt suppose to leave. I WASNT, afterall, cause there was so much to do, so much to say, and so much laughter and fun to go through. I missed every closing ceremony and something good, no.. something AWESOME happens after im gone. Its so sad. I feel sad. Cause i didnt fully seize the day. I feel.. guilty. I might not be good at it, nor perfect, but my heart was full on for it. Thats what gets me coming back everytime.
Alex Senpai :D
And you, you still make me wonder sometimes. Your words, where do they come from? Did they come from your heart? Or did they come from your past experience and just decided to stamp them on me and called it "for you". I dont get it at times. I dont get why it hurts sometimes. And i dont fucking get why my defense mechanism aint kicking in cause i need it to work f something might go wrong. And you make me trip in my own words, i love it. You get me falling for you everytime, i have to admit that. And id never brush you off, id get distracted at times but i always come home to you. But sometimes my thoughts go to 'Youve had this before and now youre just doing the same thing but with someone else, while i never had this.' My first intention was to always be there for you, and that hasnt change. Im trying to be brave, but you just leave me weak. I dont want to begin this sentence with an "I" again, but I! get confused on what you really see. Maybe i shouldnt know everything, maybe i dont wanna know anything at all. Maybe it might hurt again. Maybe i understand too well. Maybe, just maybe its about you, HF. Thats a lot of maybes.
Fuck, this ship is sinking deep. So deep that, "I cant turn back, in fact i dont wanna turn back". Is there another word for love? Cause id like to say "I Love You" in codes.
Other pictures:
And lastly.. Stripper alert! :D
Haha you know i love it when you lift me up and spin me around :)
Theres no comfort in the waiting room. Just nervous faces.
Okay, listening to Death Cab for Cutie every night, on REPLAY, on each song does not help my sleep-deprived mind. My holiday is not going the way i wanted it to be. I mean, just in certain parts. But the more i think its not gonna be good, its gonna TURN good. Right? Yes, cause thats how my logic is. And it works that way.. Somehow :p
Kendo workshop ended yesterday but it still feels like i have to wake up every morning at 8 for training. I guess i just miss it. I miss seeing everyone and i miss getting muscle sores and leg pains. I really do. It gives me a sense of relief and feels like im doing something right in my life. So during the workshop, i always leave early cause i had to be somewhere. And everytime i step outside the dojo, i have this heavy feeling in my heart. Like i wasnt suppose to leave. I WASNT, afterall, cause there was so much to do, so much to say, and so much laughter and fun to go through. I missed every closing ceremony and something good, no.. something AWESOME happens after im gone. Its so sad. I feel sad. Cause i didnt fully seize the day. I feel.. guilty. I might not be good at it, nor perfect, but my heart was full on for it. Thats what gets me coming back everytime.
Alex Senpai :D
And you, you still make me wonder sometimes. Your words, where do they come from? Did they come from your heart? Or did they come from your past experience and just decided to stamp them on me and called it "for you". I dont get it at times. I dont get why it hurts sometimes. And i dont fucking get why my defense mechanism aint kicking in cause i need it to work f something might go wrong. And you make me trip in my own words, i love it. You get me falling for you everytime, i have to admit that. And id never brush you off, id get distracted at times but i always come home to you. But sometimes my thoughts go to 'Youve had this before and now youre just doing the same thing but with someone else, while i never had this.' My first intention was to always be there for you, and that hasnt change. Im trying to be brave, but you just leave me weak. I dont want to begin this sentence with an "I" again, but I! get confused on what you really see. Maybe i shouldnt know everything, maybe i dont wanna know anything at all. Maybe it might hurt again. Maybe i understand too well. Maybe, just maybe its about you, HF. Thats a lot of maybes.
Fuck, this ship is sinking deep. So deep that, "I cant turn back, in fact i dont wanna turn back". Is there another word for love? Cause id like to say "I Love You" in codes.
Other pictures:
And lastly.. Stripper alert! :D
Haha you know i love it when you lift me up and spin me around :)
FAARRRIIIDDAAAHHHH: 17 and counting! Tries to be a non-slacker in sko. Gets hyped
over little things. Warning: the level of boringness in ths
blog might just knock you out cold. And my ever so tarded english
will cause your eyes distress. But feel free to read on [there are readers?]
as i try to post new thngs each day XD Oh, leave a tag and link me if you wish.
PLAY SOME TUNES. Ill change it from time to time X)
Alex Senpai :D
